Hunter Dyar

I'm a creator, entertainer, writer, comedian, juggler, unicyclist, musician, poet, techie, and more. I like to collect hobbies and I love learning new things. Somebody once told me I am a "pretty cool dude". Scroll down for my blog.

20. April 2014

Horoscopes

This Month's Horoscopes

ARIES

You are likely to be in the mood to snooze and overindulge a little. Arn‘t you always? You disgust me. Be sure to tell your friends how much coffee you drink and how you think it’s too much, then continue to do nothing about these problems that you have started considering them your identity.

TAURUS

You may be so easygoing that you might miss a scheduled get-together. Like “all of your class”. When people start complaining about your poor time management skills, just say “I‘m fine, i’m just easy going” then giggle. Keep repeating that mantra as your grades, social life, and personal health slide down to despair. You are just easy going!

GEMINI

You will find yourself purchasing things you want but don‘t need - like a circus act DVD or knife-sharpening kit. You should instead be purchasing things you need but don’t want - like a first aid kit, or at least one of those life-alert buttons.

CANCER

You won‘t fall in love, so much as dive headfirst in love without reading the “no diving in shallow end” sign. If that metaphor is a bit to extract, what I’m saying is at least hide that creepy shrine you made from those Facebook photos your printed out.

LEO

Don’t worry about making the first move; just do it. No, seriously. Just approach that guy and tell him hi, and explain how you really like his long hair and his unicycles and don't mind his insecurities. Then invite him out to dinner - he will most certainly offer to pay. At the very least just give him some sort of signal. Anything. He knows how you truly feel, so be free to express yourself to him.

VIRGO

Get that checkup at the health center. You know the one.

LIBRA

You will finally figure out exactly which fetish keeps turning you on during your math class (HINT: it's an ethnicity!)

SCORPIO

Pay extra close attention to fire exits. But also, call your loved ones and tell them you love them. No, seriously.

CAPRICORN

Same as LEO, I‘m pretty sure. Maybe she’s AQUARIUS?

AQUARIUS

Also the same as LEO. Please?

PISCES

Romance will come to you. And on your chest. And a little in your hair.

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02. April 2014

The Future of Phones

New Features for your phone, coming to you in the near future.

Advanced Call Screening

Phones will be able to detect not only if you know the person calling, but also if you think they are kind of icky, and block them accordingly. Further, phones will be able to ask the caller what their business is before disturbing you, including the advanced blocking of all calls from your mother-in-law. Phones will be able to detect, through integration with your meditation apps and understanding of your recent reading on stress-advice and parenting articles, when to just let you be you.

Smarter Auto Correct

Phone auto-correct will automatically eliminate such mistakes as freudian slips, drunk texts to an ex, ill-advised Facebook posts, and more. The auto-correct feature will advance to correct more than just misspelled words, but to correct entirely mis-thought-out sentences. Changing things like “hey baby u free l8r??” to “Would you like to get coffee sometime?” Phones will change the recipient of an “I love you” text from the girl you've been on 2 dates with to your mother. Then they will remind you that you should really call your family more often.

Life Tracking

Future phones have more then just a built-in GPS unit. They will also incorporate pedometers, altimeters, heart rate monitors, blood pressure cuffs, pupil sensors, polygraph machines, genealogy charts, and more. Phones will use all of this to build a complete and holistic log of your life, and complete a predictable model for your future. Unfortunately, this will be used mostly for advertising purposes and prosecuting attorneys.

Size

Phones will soon be incorporated into watches, bracelets, earrings, cufflinks, and even shoes. Mostly for convenience, bu a little so that you can act like you are Maxwell Smart, from the classic TV show Get Smart. The space freed up in your pocket will be repurposed by some other device, like maybe a camera that doesn't suck, or a small HAM radio - which will be popular again.

Cell Reception

No advancements will be made here.

Social Networks

Finally fed up with social networks, sharing, and social internet habits, many users will quit them entirely. For, like, at least a week.

Pictures of Cats

Somebody will make some app that automatically changes your phone background to photos of cats in accordance with your current weather and location. It will be awesome.

Habit Adjustment

Phones will be able to understand what you are currently working on, and what you should be working on, and thanks to a built in taser, electrocute you when you are not working. While this will not actually help any, it will make libraries much more entertaining.

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24. March 2014

My Screenplay - WIP

In my free time, I have been working on a little screenplay. It's still a WIP, but I would like to share with an excerpt from a recent draft. It has some markings from a film-producer friend of mine. Click on the images for a larger version.

I smell Oscar Bids

No Greater Screenplay will ever be written

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